Will I Follow?

I sit here writing this after hearing the news that a missionary pilot in Papua crashed today with either one or two passengers.  I sat with a worker from Papua as she told me some stories about this pilot and his love for the Lord.  Flying a plane into the interior of Papua is not an easy task, in fact it is quite dangerous.  This pilot, Paul, actually kept a keychain of pieces from other planes that have gone down.  This keychain was a reminder to him that if the Lord calls he will follow, even if his plane crashes.  What a witness, he did just that leaving a wife and two children behind.  We praise the Lord that Paul is now with Him, but we join in grief for those left here.


God really convicted me through this.  Last night I was pretty upset because I will be missing one of my best friend's wedding.  Yes, this is a sacrifice.  But, seriously I just got to skype (what a wonderful thing) with her, see her face, hear her voice, and continue to be a part of her life.  Is missing a wedding as far as I will go to follow the Lord?  Am I willing to sacrifice my life?  I want to surrender all, like Paul, like so many that have gone before.  


"I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead." Phil. 3:10-11


Will I obey God even if I don't see the promise, like Abraham?
"All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth." Hebrews 11:13


I surrender all.  

Boleh Bermain?

I am going to miss hearing these words everyday.  They mean "can we play?"  I am leaving about 15 kids here in Bandung when we move to Jakarta.  Some days I hear these words, cringe, and think I have better things to do with my time.  These better things usually end up being Facebook or Pinterest.  Unbelievable.  How much time did I lose with them?  Oh, but how much gained by knowing them!  They are eager to learn. Willing to Teach. Creative.  Energetic.  Hungry for Love.  Content.  Forgiving.  Fun.

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

 Matt. 18:3

Update

It has been quite some time since I have updated you all!  Let's see...what has happened?

Language

         On Monday we will start our sixth and final unit of language.  This is both exciting and terrifying!  We are both ready to move to Jakarta and start our "official" ministry there.  Wes has been without a job for about 3 months too long, we both need to him to be working on something!  Although language could be a full time job it lacks the accomplishment feeling that men need.
        How am I doing with language you ask?  Well on some days I feel like a rockstar who can understand and reply to everything people throw at me.  But then there are those days, which are more frequent, that I wonder if these people are even speaking the language that I have been studying for the past six months.  I will say that I am at a point where I can at least describe what I am thinking, in a very roundabout way.

Field Forum


      For one week in June we had the privilege (and obligation) of attending the annual field forum for the workers in Indonesia.  We even had the president of the CMA and the VP of IM attending.  It was so great to get to know the workers which we are here to serve and hear their amazing stories of how our King has worked.

Almost all of the Toccoa grads in Indonesia

        Did I mention this forum took place in Bali?  That part was just an extra bonus.  Wes and I stayed for two days after forum.  The first day we spent exploring Ubud which is up a mountain and had all sorts of artwork.  The second day quite a few CMAers went to a waterpark called "waterbom."  The day was epic and lots of fun!

Pottery

       We have had the last two weeks off of school for summer break.  One neat thing that we did was make pottery.  There is an org here started by Indonesians that teaches people with handicaps, mostly deaf, how to make pottery, paper, batik, and carvings.  These are the people that taught us!  It seemed mostly normal to be communicating with hand gestures and facial expressions.  We had a great time and hope to do it again!

     
ETC.


     I am thrilled that I am able to go home for my big brothers wedding in August!  I have yet to meet his bride to be, but inside sources say she is a "gem".  I am overwhelmed with joy for him and cannot wait to be there to celebrate!  Wes and I hope to be moved into our new Jakarta home before I board the plane to America.  This will have to be done between our final evaluation on August 8 and when I leave on August 11!  Should be an exciting couple of days!  While I am in the States, Wes will start his training with Larry in the office.

Current book that I am reading: One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp  
    She also has a blog at www.aholyexperience.com.  I am joining in the memorize Colossians in a year.  I am  just in week one.  A guide is available under her tab "Free Gifts for You."  For those of you that are slow at memorizing like me, I think this is a great tool! 

Prayer

Prayer is a powerful and mysterious gift.  I will admit that I really don't understand prayer.  I don't understand how God can be sovereign, we can have free will, and yet prayer changes things.  It boggles my mind when I sit and think about it.  I don't understand why some prayers are answered and others seem to be ignored.  I don't know why Danny died when I pleaded with God to save him, and why others are saved from facing death at that moment.

However, the more I seek God, the more I realize that prayer is going to be a large part of my ministry here in Indonesia.  Praying for the workers here and that their work would be fruitful.  Praying that people are healed from physical and spiritual ailments.  Praying without ceasing for Indonesia.  Although I don't understand prayer I believe in what the Scriptures say and I cling to God's promises.

Pray without ceasing 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18


"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matt 7:7


The veil was torn in two so that we may approach the throne. Matthew 27:51


Many before us, like Abraham, never saw the promise but were obedient Hebrews 11


All things work for the good of those who love him! Romans 8:28


"And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive. Matt 21:22


And the list goes on and on.  I choose to cling to these passages.  I choose to believe that God hears our cries and that He answers.  It may not be the way I would do it, but he has good plans for us, so I trust him.  It may not even be in my lifetime, but He has shown Himself faithful.  I know that God answers prayer.  I know that during the dark times of my early adolescent years when I seriously considered suicide that my mother and a group of women were praying for me, so instead of finding death I found the One who gives eternal life.  I know that while the faithful were praying Peter escaped prison and death.  I know that through years of prayer someone dear to me has turned back to the Lord.  God hears our prayers. If you believe this will you join with me this week in praying for the nation of Indonesia, the nation with the largest population of Muslims?  Will you pray for people like my friend Ibu Ema and Ibu Emas who are living in darkness?  Will you pray for the workers that are here and that God would send more, because we know the harvest is plenty but the workers are few?  Let us have faith that God is going to move!

Pesta Ulang Tahun (Birthday Party)

I had been anticipating this event for weeks.  I was so grateful that my birthday fell after a few months of language school, but before we moved to Jakarta.  In Indonesia it is expected that you throw your own birthday party. Perfect.  I needed something to bring the women from my compound into my home.  Just any meal would not work, because they think it is rude to talk while eating.  So a birthday party it would be!

Our helper, Ibu Ema, was so excited to throw this party, and she worked so hard. She worked so hard that the next day she worked, she said maybe just a few guests for Wes's birthday.

Ibu Ema making Yellow Rice

Between 15 and 20 women showed up to my door around 4:00 all dressed up, and of course a bunch of children.  I was so excited.  Ibu Ema's daughter had written a speech for me, so that I would not forget to say anything.  After everyone had entered the house and had taken a seat on the floor, I gave my speech.  They were very gracious when my pronunciation was totally off, as they always are.  After my speech they sang "Selamat ulang tahun" to me and I blew out my candles.  Next, as if we were getting married again, Wes and I fed each other cake (their idea, not ours!)  After this everyone filled up on the delicious food Ibu Ema had made!

Reading my Speech

Meal time!

The ending was a little strange.  After everyone was finished eating I wanted a photo of everyone.  As soon as the photo was taken (thanks Wes!) they said goodbye and went home.  

Unfortunately you can't see everyone!

Since my party the women have been more open to me.  Not that they were harsh toward me before, but now they invite me in their homes, hug me tight, and seem to care more about our lives! Praise the Lord that He answered your prayers and my prayers.  We serve a Great and Powerful God!

Please continue to pray for these women and for LOTS of opportunities to talk about faith.  Blessings to you all!

Little Blessings

Wes and I were on our way to the mall to grab some lunch and a Dairy Queen ice cream cone after church on Sunday.  We still haven't figured out the most direct angkot route to get there, so we went a little out of our way and had to walk more than was probably necessary, no big deal.  (Angkots are a form of public transportation.  They are vans with benches on the sides in the back.  There are lots and lots of different routes.  You just jump on and then tell them to stop when you want out.)  We were feeling pretty good about ourselves, because we actually understood some of the sermon and could at least come to the conclusion that like a banana tree, God has to "cut" at us to allow us to bear more fruit.  It also helped that we bought an Indonesian/English Bible, so we can actually find the passages and read them.

Angot

Anyways, we finally find an angkot going in the right direction.  We are hot, sweaty, tired, and ready for our Dairy Queen cone by this point.  As we hop into the van, I acknowledge the woman with her two kids who seem to be heading home from the market.  As we are stopped at a red light two little boys hop on, one with a ukulele and one with envelopes asking for money.  My heart breaks a little every time I see this, but especially this time.  The youngest boy, probably 6 but looks like he's only 4, has sandals on that are about 4 sizes too small for him.  Because of this a huge knot has formed where it rubs his foot wrong.  I couldn't stop the tears and my stomach started churning.  Part of me wanted to take the easy route and just put money in the envelope, but then I thought about who might actually get the money.  I knew the Spirit was leading me to do more, but what could I do?  And plus, I really wanted an ice cream cone.  As soon as I thought that I wanted to throw up at my selfishness.  Wes and I got off and I immediately asked if I could buy them some shoes.  They looked up at me with their eyes full of hunger, hunger for food, love, and the feeling of belonging, but didn't respond.  I thought maybe they only knew a tribal language, so I played charades with them until they understood.  We started walking towards a store, about a half mile walk.  They followed us, the older boy with his arm around the younger one the whole way protecting him, encouraging him.  We made it to a store and the younger one got some croc-like sandals with Spiderman on them, and he started to jump up and down clapping-the most life I had seen in him.  More tears.  The older one picked out some flip flops.  We stopped to get them some fruit and then we were on our way.

Can you tell how small and beat up his old shoes are?

I hated leaving them.  I wanted to know so much more about their lives, and tell them how much they are loved by the one who created them.  I've been pleading with God to give me another chance, and to give me more words.  Their faces will forever be imprinted in my mind.

God gave me such peace after this.  I am so glad I didn't ignore the Spirit moving like I have so many times before.  I'm so grateful that I was given another chance, that maybe this time I wouldn't let him down, maybe this time I will push myself, my fears, my insecurities away to trust what I know to be true:  That I am nothing, yet God chooses me to bring him glory.  That this life is not about me at all.  I am thankful to be reminded and humbled once again.

Please pray that no one takes those shoes away.

Familiarity

Sometimes I yearn for something familiar.  Most of the time I can echo Paul's words and say that I am content wherever I am living.  It is truly by God's grace that I have been content living in all the various places He's sent me.  However, I have days, sometimes just hours, of longing for something familiar.  That's why once a week we order pizza or go get McDonald's (which by the way, tastes a lot better in foreign countries).  This happens when I get frustrated with my inability to really communicate with people, to tell them my heart.  Sure I can tell them my name, but that's about as deep as it gets.  Or when it takes an hour to do something that in the USA it would take five minutes, like washing clothes.  Usually I love this way of life, I don't think I am one to complain or even wish I had it easier, but sometimes I want something familiar.  While reading the Psalms I ran across this passage, "You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are FAMILIAR with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely."  This is from Psalm 139.  When I reflect on this passage I realize I don't need anything familiar. My God, the one who created the earth by His Word, and then came to dwell among us and then sacrificed Himself for my sins, and yours, and then defeated death by rising from it knows me... is familiar with me, with all of me. I take comfort in that today.  What are you taking comfort in today?